BDSM Terminology Explained: A Plain-English Glossary

“Sub,” “switch,” “scene,” “RACK”: BDSM conversations can sound like a language of their own. Learning the vocabulary makes it easier to describe your interests, understand someone else’s preferences and ask useful questions. But a shared label does not necessarily mean a shared understanding—and it never establishes consent by itself.

This BDSM glossary explains common terms used by consenting adults. Definitions are starting points: people, communities and professional practitioners may use the same word differently.

What BDSM Stands For

BDSM brings together three overlapping groups of interests, described in Wikipedia’s overview of BDSM:

• B&D: Bondage and discipline. Bondage involves physical restraint; discipline involves agreed rules and responses within a role or dynamic.
• D/s: Dominance and submission. An arrangement in which one person takes an agreed degree of authority and another chooses to follow.
• S&M: Sadism and masochism. Interests involving giving or receiving consensual pain or other intense experiences.

Someone may enjoy one area without enjoying the others. Submission, for example, does not automatically imply an interest in pain.

Kink is a broad, informal term for interests or practices considered unconventional. What counts as unconventional depends on the person and cultural context.

Fetish commonly describes a strong interest in a particular object, material, body part or situation. Clothing and foot fetishes are examples. In everyday conversation, people sometimes use “kink” and “fetish” interchangeably.

Vanilla is community shorthand for interests or activities outside BDSM or kink. It is a description, not a ranking of how interesting someone is.

Roles and Titles

Dominant, Submissive and Switch

Dominant, or dom: Someone who takes an agreed leadership or authority role. The scope might cover one session, particular activities or an ongoing relationship.

Domme: A term commonly used for a woman who is dominant. Individual preferences for spelling and titles vary.

Submissive, or sub: Someone who chooses to yield a defined degree of control. Being submissive does not mean agreeing to everything or being unable to express preferences.

Switch: Someone who enjoys dominant and submissive roles, or giving and receiving roles, depending on the partner or context. Switching does not have to happen within every session.

Mistress, Master and similar titles: Forms of address used in some dynamics. Ask which title someone prefers and when they expect it to be used.

Slave: A self-chosen role label in some power-exchange relationships, often associated with extensive service or obedience. Its meaning requires careful discussion; the label does not remove personal autonomy or the right to withdraw consent.

Top and Bottom

Top: The person performing or directing a particular activity.

Bottom: The person receiving that activity.

These terms describe participation rather than necessarily describing authority. Someone can receive an activity without taking a submissive role.

Sadist: In consensual BDSM, someone who enjoys giving agreed pain or discomfort.

Masochist: Someone who enjoys receiving certain kinds of pain or discomfort in an agreed context. This does not mean enjoying every kind or intensity of pain.

Professional dominant, pro-domme or dominatrix: Someone who provides domination sessions professionally. The title alone does not tell you which activities they offer, what their boundaries are or whether sexual contact is included.

Sessions, Play and Ongoing Dynamics

Play: A general term for participating in BDSM activities. Calling something “play” does not make its physical or emotional effects insignificant.

Scene: A particular encounter or period of BDSM activity. In another context, “the scene” can mean the wider BDSM community.

Session: An arranged period of activity, often used when discussing professional appointments.

Role-play: Adopting agreed characters, situations or roles. Discuss the intended tone as well as the actions: “strict” might mean formal instructions to one person and something much more intense to another.

Power exchange: An agreed arrangement in which one person gives another some authority. Define what that authority covers and when it begins and ends.

Dynamic: The pattern of roles and expectations between people. It may exist for a single encounter or continue over time.

24/7: Shorthand for a dynamic that extends into everyday life. It does not necessarily mean constant activity or unrestricted authority.

TPE: Total power exchange. A label some people use for extensive authority across a relationship. Despite the word “total,” practical boundaries and the ability to withdraw consent still require explicit agreement.

Collar or collaring: A collar may be an accessory or a symbol of a particular relationship or commitment. Its meaning cannot reliably be inferred from appearance.

Common Activity Terms

Bondage: Physical restraint. The word covers many different practices and does not specify a technique, intensity or level of risk.

Sensation play: Activities focused on physical sensations, such as texture or touch. Preferences can be very specific.

Impact play: Activities involving agreed striking, such as spanking. The label does not establish acceptable intensity, body areas or equipment.

Service submission: Submission expressed through agreed tasks or acts of service.

Humiliation play: Agreed scenarios involving embarrassment or a lowered-status role. Words, themes, audiences and privacy boundaries need separate discussion.

Brat: A label some people use for playful defiance within an agreed dynamic. It does not make every refusal playful or invite others to ignore boundaries.

Consent, Limits and Safety Abbreviations

Consent: A freely given, informed agreement to particular activities. It is ongoing and can be withdrawn. An identity, previous experience or booking does not substitute for present agreement.

Negotiation: The conversation used to establish interests, boundaries, risks, expectations and ways to communicate. It can continue during the encounter as circumstances change.

Hard limit: An activity or condition someone does not agree to. Respect it without requiring a justification.

Soft limit: Something someone feels uncertain or cautious about, or might consider under particular conditions. It is not permission to proceed or an invitation to apply pressure.

Safeword: An agreed word that communicates a need to pause, change something or stop. Its meaning should be clear before activity begins.

Safe signal: A nonverbal equivalent used when speaking may be difficult. Everyone needs to be able to recognise and use it.

Traffic-light system: A common communication system in which green indicates comfort, yellow requests caution or adjustment, and red means stop. Agree on the exact meanings beforehand. Green does not authorise unnegotiated escalation.

The absence of a safeword does not establish continuing consent. If someone becomes unresponsive or cannot communicate clearly, pause and check their wellbeing.

SSC, RACK and CNC

SSC: Safe, sane and consensual. A traditional framework emphasising safety, capacity to consent and mutual agreement. The slogan does not guarantee that an activity is safe.

RACK: Risk-aware consensual kink. A framework emphasising understanding and discussing risks alongside consent.

CNC: Consensual non-consent. Pre-agreed role-play that portrays resistance or loss of control while actual consent remains essential. Boundaries and a genuine way to stop must be explicit; real withdrawal of consent ends the activity.

Aftercare and Emotional Vocabulary

Aftercare: Agreed support following a scene. It might include quiet time, conversation, water or personal space. Preferences vary, and any participant may need it.

Debrief: A conversation about what worked, what felt uncomfortable and what should change. It can happen immediately or later.

Subspace: An informal term for deep absorption or altered awareness that some submissive participants describe. It is not a required outcome or proof of consent.

Drop, subdrop or topdrop: Informal terms for feeling low, unsettled or depleted after an intense experience. These labels describe experiences; they are not medical diagnoses.

Turn Labels Into Clear Expectations

The most useful question after hearing unfamiliar BDSM terminology is: “What does that mean to you?”

For a professional session in Zürich or elsewhere, follow broad labels with concrete questions:

• “Which activities are you proposing?”
• “What does ‘strict’ mean during this session?”
• “How do we pause or stop?”
• “What privacy arrangements and aftercare can we agree on?”

You can describe your interests in ordinary language before choosing any identity label. “I enjoy clear instructions, but I do not want insults” communicates more than “I’m submissive” alone.